Stop comparing

The last several months I have been trying to find myself, I thought taking a part-time job was the answer but it turns out it wasn't.  I realized I was comparing our lives to every mom I know, there's the super woman who seems to do everything and rarely seems out of sorts, there's the friend who changes her house everytime I go there and it looks better than the last, there's the friends who work full-time and seem happy what I was failing to do was ask myself what makes me happiest?  Well after weeks of going through the motions at a job my heart was not in, I made a list and guess what? I was most happiest about a year ago when I was still at home with the girls but had a babysitter coming for 2-3 hours one day every week.  What happened?  She moved, I started comparing myself to everyone else out there, felt guilty for not working and gave up.   Basically, I stopped listening to the voice in me saying follow your passion which is to write.  So the question now is how do I still find time for me yet be a stay-at-home mom again?  I bet alot of you reading this can relate we love our kids so much but yet they can drive us bonkers if we're with them 24/7.  My husband said maybe they should stay in daycare part-time the same as when I was working…the guilt crept in I started hyperventilating a bit and said "bbbuuuttt I won't be working" and he said "Becky you work harder than me everyday you are home with them".  This was a lightbulb moment… whether I volunteer, write, clean the house or whatever it doesn't the matter I will have something that is all mine and that I enjoy. 

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