After a few days off flying off the handle and having a less than serene attitude I finally feel like me again and as I tucked my daughter in she gave me the biggest hug… one of those I don't ever want to let go hugs and I hung on a little longer too and sang her 2 more songs because really isn't this the kind of stuff I dreamed of when I had children, yes the nights are long but the days are short and in the blink of an eye here my 1st born is almost 3. It was one of those special moments I had to blog about because I can get wrapped up in a case of the waaa waaa's myself and I'm not age 3 when you are allowed to whine and cry, at age 34 more is expected of you and I learn more and more about what really matters in life and its moments like these….
As I was flying off the handle this morning over my daughter pushing her sister down once again I was reminded that I don't currently have balance in my life. I go a few weeks with it then someone gets sick or I'm up all night with a kid or you name it happens and then that perfect balanced week from the previous week goes out the window…what I am learning is to ease up on myself although as I type this I realize that is not entirely true I am pretty hard on myself for yelling at the girls too much as I am a worry wart or saying things the wrong way and in turn possibly hurting someone. I will say I am trying "to be the change I wish to see in the world" but I have to remember that starts at home by being an example for my girls and husband.